8 Ways Your Controlling Man Is Out of Control

Most controlling men are often insecure and often come from families where they had control over nothing. A little control is okay, but too much, then he is way out of control. Here are the signs he is out of control;

1. Your friends and family. Controlling men will often try to control access to who you see and when. He often has a problem with whoever he thinks has the most influence over you, like a sister, mother, or best friend. He'll come up with all kinds of reasons this person is bad for you, and if you ever hit a rough patch with that person, he won't let you forget it, and will constantly say things like, "Why would you want to be friends with someone who treats you so badly?" The gist is that it's only HE who has your best interests at heart and therefore you should only listen to HIM.

2. Finances. Controlling guys will often insist on being the ruler of the family finances, the one who pays the credit cards, the one who controls the bank account, and you can only spend money if you run it by him first. Sometimes he will withhold money for something small. Yet if you want to get a job to earn your own money, he comes up with reasons why you shouldn't.

3. Social media. A controlling guy will insist on having the passwords to your Facebook and email accounts, and check your phone to see who you're calling. He'll do this even if you've never given him a reason not to trust you, and come up with some excuse like he's "protecting" you from crazies on the Internet.

4. Your activities. A controlling man hates it when you go anywhere that might mean you're out from under his control -- even if that is just the gym, or a friend's house, or the park. He'll sabotage it in any way he can think of. If ordering you not to go doesn't work, he might pretend to be sick to get you to stay home, or tell you that you can't waste the gas in the car, or accuse you of trying to stay in shape so you can attract other men.

5. The way you look. A controlling guy will have something to say about every aspect of your appearance, from your clothes to your weight to your makeup. Why are you wearing eyeshadow if you're just going to the grocery store? You need to lose/gain a few pounds. You're not really going to wear those boots, are you? Why won't you dye your hair red?

6. "Joint" activities. A controlling guy will often control even the things that you're supposed to be doing as a team -- such as where you go on vacation, which movie you rent that night, and what you have for dinner.

7. "Womanly duties." Often a controlling guy will make it seem abnormal if you want to have any choices or power or control by having a sexist, misogynistic attitude that declares that women should do the chores, or wives should always cook for their husbands, or mothers should never work or have time to themselves away from the kids.

8. Sex. It's always when he wants it, and how he wants it. If you try to take control in that area, he shuts down, or makes you feel "dirty," or suddenly has no sexual interest.

The only real way for a guy to loosen his controlling grip is with the realization that what he is doing is destroying the relationship and that he needs to figure out why he's trying so hard to control life. Then he needs outside help via counseling, support groups, behavioral therapy, etc.

Are you with a controlling guy? How does he try to control?

20 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO YOUR GIRL

1) "You're not the prettiest girl I've dated." So what if it's true? You may not be the hottest guy she has dated too.

2) "You look like my ex." No one wants to be compared to an ex, if she was that good, you'd still be together.

3) "You'd look better if [insert physical characteristic here]."  DON'T tell her to improve how she looks. End of. 

4) "That waitress/chick at the bar is hot!"-- other chicks are hot. She also has eyeballs to see for herself. 

5) "My mom thinks you should [insert behavior change here]."She might like it that you've got a good relationship with your mom and all, but don't make her feel like she is in a competition with her..

6) "Your sister is a bitch." - family is off-limits. End of story.

7) "If you REALLY loved me, you'd [insert weird sex act here]. No, don't.. don't

8) "Wow, you're a lot like your Mom."She may love her mother dearly -- but every girl has a secret fear of turning into her mum.

9) "I don't want to have sex tonight." It's a double-standard, we know, but it will hurts her feelings to hear.

10) "You should go on a diet." She doesn't need you to remind her she needs to drop a few pounds.

11) "Let's have a threesome with your best friend -- she's hot." Just, no. 

12) "This one time I [incredibly long, detailed story about a sexual encounter]." you might have had sex before her -- but don't rub it in her face. 

13) "You're being too emotional." C'mon! Ladies are emotional creatures! Leave her to it!

14) "There's no way that small shirt is gonna fit you."She doesn't need fashion advice from you, Mr. Potbelly.

15) "C'mon, I hate using condoms." Safe sex is where it's at -- She doesnt want to get pregnant yet too

16) "What's your (sex) number?" Not your business, thankyouverymuch. 

17) "You're overreacting."she'll figure it out. Just let her vent.

18) "Is it 'that time of the month'? Because you're being a bitch."Don't assume, it can be annoying.

19) "You look really different in the mornings." Nobody makes up overnight

20) "It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand." Actually, she probably does ... that you're a douche-bag.

NELSON MANDELA: FUNERAL DATE ANNOUNCED

The South African Government announced on Friday that the funeral of its former president and Global icon Nelson Mandela will be held on Dec 15

The decision came after President Jacob Zuma visited Mandela’s family in Johannesburg. Shortly before midnight Thursday, Zuma announced about the death of the 95-year-old anti-apartheid icon. He had passed away in the evening.

President Zuma has said the late statesman will be laid to rest at his home in Qunu in the southern province of the Eastern Cape. The national mourning will last for 10 days before the funeral.

From Dec11 to Dec.13, Mandela’s remains will be stationed at the Union Buildings in the administrative capital of Pretoria, he said.

During the national mourning, Dec 8 has been declared a Day of Prayer and Reflection and Dec 10 would be the day for the official memorial service in Johannesburg.

President Zuma thanked all South Africans and the world for their support to the Mandela family.

Mandela had been hospitalised with serious recurring lung infection in recent years. He suffered from tuberculosis when he was incarcerated for 27 years before the apartheid ended in 1994.

After being discharged from hospital in Pretoria Sep 1, Mandela had started his final fight against the disease at his home in Johannesburg.

6 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK

Dating can be an unappetizing stew of disappointment, frustration, and dashed hopes no matter where you do it. So it's no wonder that, by the time a woman or man gets to be a certain age and hasn't found "the one" yet, he or she can be "commited to dying alone" -- as a friend of mine recently put it. However, there are some success stories. A friend of mine recently got married in her 40s. The media would have us believe the odds of that are nil. But my friend followed some basic -- yet kinda crazy -- rules.

Here are six ways to not let the dating game get you down.

Never get bitter. No matter how many stories my friend told me about awful guys who dumped her for baffling reasons, or who simply disappeared one day, or who turned out to be total jerkwads, she never let it get her down. She still considered love and marriage something she could have and would have. She still smiled, still laughed, and still flirted, and still dated. She still LIKED men.

Don't let them waste your time. That said, my friend gave guys a year at most. If it didn't seem seriously like it was moving towards marriage after that, she cut them loose no matter how much she liked them or how much they promised things would get serious soon.

Each man is a new man. My friend's motto all during her dating days was, "One man doesn't deserve to be punished for what another man did." No matter how egregious a boyfriend behaved, she never for a moment held that against the next boyfriend. That means even though she was cheated on in one relationship, she still trusted the next guy.

Keep trying even if it didn't work last time. My friend had a thing for dating guys long distance. She did it over and over. And it never worked out. Yet she kept trying -- and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thought she was nutso. Yet the guy she ended up marrying lived in Italy when she met him online. She knew what she liked (foreign guys) and she wasn't going to let the fact that it hadn't worked out in the past stop her from trying that again in the future.

Never compromise yourself. My friend has had all kinds of guys try to change her over the years -- one wanted her to lose weight, one said she was "too happy," one didn't like her spiritual hippy-dippy side. But she never wavered in not changing what she liked about herself. Eventually, she found someone who loved it all. But even if she hadn't -- she still would have loved herself.

Don't feel rushed. Despite the fact that my friend was closing in on 40, she still retained an optimistic attitude about finding love and marriage. And she wasn't going to let society, her friends, or her family, rush her into settling down with someone she didn't feel right about. After each break up, she still felt like she had plenty of time. She knew it was about WHO not WHE

Man Falls Asleep On Plane, Wakes Up Alone, Locked Inside

A man who fell asleep flying from Louisiana woke up at his layover in Houston, inside a dark, empty and locked plane.

Tom Wagner says that the United Express crew left him in the plane, even after he alerted authorities through his girlfriend,for more than 30 minutes, according to ABC News.

The fiasco started on Friday when he fell asleep in a window seat near the back of the airplane. When everyone deplaned at the layover, nobody woke Wagner up. He woke up in a pitch-black and cold cabin, and the aircraft doors were locked.

Luckily, his cell phone wasn't dead.

"I called my girlfriend, and she thought I was crazy. I said, 'Debbie I'm locked on the plane,'" he told ABC. "I said, 'I'm telling you the truth. You better go somewhere and get me off this plane."

Half an hour later, workers boarded the aircraft and rescued Wagner. He told KVEOthat they wanted him to keep the incident quiet, and put him up in a nearby hotel and gave him a $250 flight voucher to make the ordeal go away.

United Express maintained that its crew did a post-flight walkthrough and issued this statement to the Examiner:

Express Jet is investigating to determine how this occurred, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this caused the passenger.

It's never too late to start exercising

 It's never too late to start exercising, according to a new study that found formerly inactive seniors who took up exercise still experienced health benefits.

The study sheds light on the question of whether the slower mental and physical decline seen among active seniors extends to former couch potatoes who begin exercising later in life."Regular physical activity in older age is important to remain healthy.

However, taking up physical activity at old age is also beneficial," Mark Hamer told Reuters Health in an e-mail. He led the study at University College London.

These findings "underscore the importance of prevention as well as rehabilitation," said Ursula M Staudinger, who directs the Robert N Butler Columbia Ageing Centre in New York City. "When you start later in life you can still get gains," Staudinger, who was not part of the research team, said.

Regular health surveys

For their study, Hamer and his co-authors analysed information on 3 454 healthy seniors involved in the ongoing English Longitudinal Study of Ageing.

Participants reported how much they exercised at the start of the study, in 2002 to 2003. Researchers then followed them through regular health surveys for the next eight years.

At follow-up, 19% of the seniors were considered to be ageing healthily. That is, they had not developed any major chronic diseases or depression and had not experienced any deterioration in their physical or mental status during the study period.

Public health initiatives

Seniors who were active at least once a week at the start of the study and remained active were the most likely to experience healthy aging. But those who started exercising during the study period benefited as well, Hamer and his colleagues reported in the British Journal of Sports Medicine.

People who remained active during all eight years were over seven times more likely to experience healthy ageing than inactive seniors. Those who became active after the study started were three times more likely than inactive adults to age well.

That was after the researchers took into consideration other factors that might influence healthy ageing like participants' gender, income and whether they smoked or were married. "The results appear to suggest that maintaining or beginning any form of regular activity is beneficial," the researchers wrote. Further, they added, "this study supports public health initiatives designed to engage older adults in physical activity, even those who are of advanced age." "The ageing population continues to grow," Hamer said.

Chronological age

"Physical activity will help the elderly to remain healthy." The findings cannot prove exercise warded off disease among study participants, just that it was correlated with healthy aging.

"We have to say goodbye to this notion that the chronological age on our passport or our birth certificate will tell us how old we are," Staudinger told Reuters Health. "Healthy ageing is happening on a societal level and each individual can contribute," she said, noting that "physical activity is one important instrument." However, Staudinger cautioned, "with physical fitness as with cognitive fitness, if you stop working on it, it will drop again."

- Reuters

WHY MOSQUITOES BITE US

Researchers have learned more about how mosquitoes detect skin odour, and they say their findings could lead to better repellents and traps.

Mosquitoes are attracted to our skin odour and to the carbon dioxide we exhale. Previous research found that mosquitoes have special neurons that enable them to detect carbon dioxide. Until now, however, scientists had not pinpointed the neurons that mosquitoes use to detect skin odour.

Pleasant odours

The new study found that the neurons used to detect carbon dioxide are also used to identify skin odour. This means it should be easier to find ways to block mosquitoes' ability to zero in on people, according to the study's authors. The findings appeared in the journal Cell.

"These findings open up very realistic possibilities of developing ways to use simple, natural, affordable and pleasant odours to prevent mosquitoes from finding humans," senior author Anandasankar Ray, of the University of California, Riverside, said in a journal news release.

Dangerous diseases

Mosquitoes can carry dangerous diseases such as malaria, dengue fever and West Nile virus.

"The powerful experimental approaches we have developed will help us find potential solutions that we could use not only here in the United States but also in Africa, Asia and South America, where affordability is key in the war against these diseases," Ray said.

"The insect olfactory system is an excellent target to manipulate their attraction to humans and other prey," Ray said. "We believe that this study will be the foundation for the discovery of a new generation of mosquito-behaviour-modifying approaches.

- Health24

MATCH FIXING: NIGERIAN DEFENDER SAM SODJE AND BROTHER ARRESTED!!

Nigerian and Ex-Portsmouth star Sam Sodje and his brother Stephen were held by cops investigating football corruption.

The arrests came after Sodje, 34, was filmed claiming he could arrange for players to pick up yellow cards in exchange for cash.

Nigeria-born Sodje demanded £30,000 for a booking and £50,000 for a player to get a red card during a match.

He even claimed he punched a player in the groin during a match to be deliberately sent off - and pick up a £70,000 bung.

The former Reading and Brentford defender also boasted that he could rig Premier League and World Cup games.

He said some African players could be easily tempted because they do not get paid much to represent their national teams.

The brothers were arrested by detectives from the National Crime Agency at their homes in Abbeywood, south London.

Cops were seen carrying away evidence, including a desktop computer, from Stephen’s £120,000 home.

Oldham Athletic star Cristian Montano, 21, was also filmed discussing match-fixing in the sting.

He was caught on tape apologising for failing to pick up a booking for cash during a game.

Another of Sodje’s brothers, Akpo, 33, who plays for Tranmere Rovers, was also captured discussing spot-fixing.

A third man was arrested in connection with the case today but police refused to reveal if it was Montano or Akpo.

Sodje told an undercover investigator that he had “sorted” one former Premier League player to deliberately pick up a booking.

He said the star, who cannot be named, received £30,000 in exchange for the yellow card during a Championship match.

“This guy came to meet me at my house and it was sorted,” boasted the former Nigeria international.

“That’s how easy it is - it’s nothing. The booking one is easy. You just push someone, swear at the referee, kick the ball away.

“A yellow card is a standard thing. No one would even be suspicious.”

Sodje allegedly demanded a Rolex watch and a Range Rover for acting as “fixer” for the dodgy deal.

He said he picked up £70,000 after deliberately getting sent off while playing for Portsmouth earlier this year.

The player received a red card after punching Oldham’s Jose Baxter twice in the crotch.

Sodje also claimed he could rig Premier League games and had discussed match-fixing with several top names.

Montano was filmed apologising to Sodje after failing to get booked in the first half of a clash between Oldham and Wolves.

An NCA spokeswoman confirmed the arrests and said they were working closely with the FA and Gambling Commission.

“Three people are in custody and are being questioned by NCA officers,” she said. “We cannot comment further at this stage.”

Football League chief executive Shaun Harvey said: “We treat any allegations of criminal activity with the utmost seriousness.

“Given that there is an ongoing police investigation into this matter, we cannot comment further at this time.

“Although, we would encourage anyone with any evidence to report it to the police.

“We will be giving our full assistance to the police during their investigation.”

In a statement, the Football Association said: “The FA is aware of the National Crime Agency investigation.

“We are working closely with the NCA and other authorities. We will make no further comment at this time.”

A Gambling Commission spokesman said it was “supporting” the ongoing NCA investigation.

Illegal betting syndicates are worth an estimated £320 billion - fuelled by ‘in-game’ betting.

The majority of revenues are generated in Asia, where the gambling industry is unregulated.

The NCA is already carrying out a separate investigation into an alleged international illegal betting syndicate.

Michael Boateng and Hakeem Adelakun, both 22, were charged last week with conspiracy to defraud contrary to common law.

The pair, who played for Conference South club Whitehawk FC, were dismissed by their club and will appear in court on Wednesday.

Chann Sankaran, 33, and Krishna Sanjey Ganeshan, 43, were charged last month with plotting to defraud bookmakers.

Portsmouth FC said today they would co-operate with police and league officials if contacted.

Spokesman Colin Farmery said: “If these serious allegations are true then we are extremely shocked and saddened by them.

“Match-fixing of any type goes to the heart of the integrity of the game.

“The player in question no longer plays for the club and we have not been contacted by the authorities, but of course we would cooperate fully with any inquiry.”

Guy Whittingham, who was manager of Portsmouth at the time, said the claims brought back memories of the match in which Sam Sodje was sent off.

He said: “Sam came racing over - and I didn’t actually see the incident at the time itself - but then you see it in the cold light of day afterwards and you see what he’s done and you can’t fathom out why he’s done it.”

Oldham Athletic said it would be launching an “immediate internal investigation” into the claims surrounding Montano.

“The club is co-operating with other agencies in this matter and cannot comment on specific facts,” it added in a statement.

Oldham’s former player and manager Andy Ritchie said: “I’m dismayed. I know they are only allegations but I feel if they proven, and it remains to seen they will be, it will be very disappointing.

“We are fully co-operating with the investigation.

“If something like this is happening it is terrible. You are letting your team-mates down, your team down. It could cost a club a place in the league.

“I believe and I hope football is a game of integrity.”

-Mirror